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<P ALIGN=CENTER STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif"><U>JANE
BROWN M.S.W.</U></FONT></P>
<P ALIGN=CENTER STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif"><U>Workshop
 </U></FONT>
</P>
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</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">Jane
Brown came to town for one weekend.  In that short period of time she
empowered our little community of FCCs, and set us on a path with
well-articulated goals.</FONT></P>
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</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">As
a social worker and adoption consultant/educator par excellence, Jane
Brown offered us an opportunity to share some of our concerns,
observations, accomplishments, and fears about how we are functioning
as transracial, adoptive families.</FONT></P>
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</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">With
professional skill, common sense, and personal stories, her examples
served to validate, encourage, and open up our capacity to be there
for our adopted daughters, as they try to make sense of an inner
world seeking identity formation; and as they confront an external
world curious and demanding that they fit into prescribed roles.</FONT></P>
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</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">She
challenged us to take the initiative in nurturing our adoptee&rsquo;s
inner development, and emphasized over and again how important our
role is, as parents, in <U>keeping our adoptees connected to their
roots - their heritage; so they can flourish</U>.  One of the props
that Jane brought with her to use in the Playshops with the children,
was a puppet she called &lsquo;Lilly&rsquo;.  Lilly, a three ft. long
sunflower with trailing strands, was used to illustrate how important
roots are in establishing a Self.   How one needs roots to grow tall,
strong, and resilient. And how, without these long, deep, roots, or
with thinning roots, Lilly&rsquo;s footing may not be that secure.
She may even slump or teeter, or her growth may be stunted.  However,
with deep, established, roots, Lilly was able to produce healthy
limbs, and leaves, in abundance.  Lilly was a hit with all the
children; and she left an impression on us too.</FONT></P>
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</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">Jane
believes, (and she cited a number of &lsquo;studies&rsquo; to support
her philosophy), that &ldquo;we owe our children early comprehensive
information about their origins&rdquo;. And that how they process
this information factors significantly into how they develop
self-esteem. For the international transracial adoptee, who will
likely never know her birth family directly, it is essential that she
be told, and know, as much of the story of how she came to be adopted
as is possible &ndash; including the fact that she was abandoned. 
Many of us parents at the workshop, identified this fact as one of
the more difficult pieces of the adoption story to talk about with
our daughters. Jane cautioned us not to protect our daughters from
what might prove painful or hurtful here; and to resist the urge to
soften the language, and construct a &lsquo;nice&rsquo; adoption
story.   </FONT>
</P>
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</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">She
charged us with the responsibility of opening a life-long dialogue
with our children about their birth and adoption.  She encouraged us
to talk about all of the possible circumstances of their abandonment.
  And to help our adoptees explore</FONT></P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">why
their birthparents made the decisions they did.  Why they were not
adopted by another family in their country of origin &ndash; or by
extended family members. She assured us that it is more constructive
to create a supportive and nurturing environment within which our
children can formulate their own questions , (disturbing as they may
be) &ndash; than it is to answer these questions for them.</FONT></P>
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</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">Jane
covered a lot of ground with us over that weekend. She offered
insights into many patterns of behavior that some of our FCC families
acknowledged first-hand experience with.  There was a resounding
&lsquo;Yes&rsquo; from the audience when she inquired if any of our
adoptees seemed especially &lsquo;spunky&rsquo;, or demonstrated
&lsquo;leadership qualities&rsquo;.  She was of course attempting to
reframe our adoptee&rsquo;s  efforts to gain and maintain &lsquo;control&rsquo;
at every turn. Control, in a world where they have had so little over
major life events. -  With this explanation made, the power struggle
lessens, and a new respect for the adoptee&rsquo;s inner imperative
becomes possible.  One is left wondering however, how much of the
behavior we may encounter with our children is specific to adoption
issues, or part of a more generalized family dynamic; and what to do
when we figure out which one is which.</FONT></P>
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</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">Jane
spoke about how important our community of peers is to our adoptees.
They need and deserve to know how other young adoptees think and feel
about adoption, and that they are not alone, whatever their
experience. This is true for us as families as well.  We are embedded
in a culture of transracial adoptive families, pioneers though we
are, and have an opportunity for fellowship and support that can&rsquo;t
be found in other dimensions of our lives.  She reminded us that &ldquo;the
children collectively are our responsibility&rdquo;.   And, as the
years unfold ahead, it will be these  &lsquo;FCC&rsquo;
relationships, formed now in the early stages, that will prove
steadfast and affirming, as our daughters define who they are and
make their place in the world. </FONT>
</P>
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</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">Jane
seemed to raise as many questions as she answered. I heard her
mention something about the issue of race, but it didn&rsquo;t seem
to resonate with any significance for me.  Later, I wondered why. &ndash;
Recently my daughter Gabriella and I were looking over some photos we
had had developed.  They were taken at the Chinese New Years Parade
in Chinatown in February.  One of the photos was of a sea of Asian
faces, which included that of my daughter and her friend Leila, both
Chinese-born adoptees. I commented that &lsquo;this is what it must
feel like to be in China&rsquo; &ndash; to be in the majority.  My
daughter panned the picture, and said, &ldquo;but <U>we </U>don&rsquo;t
look Chinese&rdquo; (referring to herself and Leila). I was stunned. 
It was in that instant that I realized I had too little understanding
of what my daughter truly needed to &lsquo;stay connected to her
roots&rsquo;, and to develop an enduring racial identity.  Not
withstanding, the cultural events, Mandarin language classes, Silk
Road concerts, Autumn Moon Festival celebrations &hellip; I was
missing the mark.  Living here in Vancouver, amidst such a large,
integrated, and vibrant Chinese community, we&rsquo;ve </FONT>
</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">been
so comfortable; I thought we would be exempt from the prevailing
racial issues, and challenges to racial identity. I never imagined
that &lsquo;our&rsquo; Chinese heritage would be beyond our reach. As
an international, transracial, adoptive, family, the issues are so
much more complex.</FONT></P>
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</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">Jane
Brown planted a lot of seeds that weekend.  There will no doubt be
lots to explore and discover the next time she comes to town. </FONT>
</P>
<P CLASS="western" STYLE="margin-bottom: 0in; font-weight: medium"><FONT FACE="Arial, sans-serif">Submitted
by:	  Karen Schauber, FCC parent</FONT>
</P>

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